I had a very interesting dialogue with an acquaintance this morning.  What came out seems very rich with meaning to me.  It’s long, but I’d like to share that dialogue here.

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Just wondering what are the reasons to live for? I’m in my late 30’s who is still single with no place to call home or a job to work for, and I have very few friends who don’t really know the real me. I have no families who aren’t close or even connected to me, therefore I don’t have anybody to care for or have anybody to care for me. So what other reason for me to live for if nothing else?

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The meaning of life is to exchange our life energy for joyful experiences.  In order to get in sync with your life’s purpose, all you have to do is to move towards anything that increases your joy, and to move away from anything that interferes with your joy.  It doesn’t matter what it is.  Sometimes people will say, “Well, what if getting drunk or doing drugs is what makes me happy?”  Okay, well, if drinking alcohol truly increases your joy, but then you end up with a terrible headache which interferes with your joy, then simply drink in a way that doesn’t cause headaches, i.e. moderate.  Walking in the sun, talking to little kids, watching dogs run at a dog park, pretty girls in magazines, driving through the country with the windows rolled down, whatever it is that increases your joy, move towards it.  Look for things that will increase your joy even just a little bit, and it will become easier and easier to recognize and move towards things that increase your joy.  You’ll stumble across the perfect job that enhances your joy.  You’ll start meeting people that want to be near you because of your joyful disposition. 

Trust me on this; we all entered this life with a single purpose, to exchange our life energy for joyful experience.  Far too many people have strayed from the path and live lives of struggle and unhappiness.  Being born into this life and moving towards anything that interferes with our joy is just like going to a really good restaurant with a pocket full of cash and refusing to eat because you don’t want to spend your money.  What is money for but to exchange it for the things we want in our life experience?  Indeed, what is life for but to exchange it for joyful experience?

Move towards the joyful life experiences; to do otherwise is to waste life itself, the worst kind of waste.  Moving towards anything that interferes with our joy has the affect of increasingly diminishing our joy, because deep inside we know that we’re out of sync with the meaning of life, and that’s the greatest interference of joy there is.

Give it a try.  Decide every hour on the hour today to stop for just a moment and look around for one thing that will bring you joy, even if only for a moment, then go back to whatever you were doing.  Then when the next hour rolls around, do it again, and again every hour.  Do it again tomorrow.  See what happens.  What do you have to lose?

XO,
Katie

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Thanks Katie! That was a great reason to live for, cuz I was losing myself and I was on the edge of just not caring about anything or anybody. I keep thinking that dying would be a reason to be re-born, and I’d have other reasons to live for. I’m not being lazy or feeling sorry for myself but I just can’t seem to enjoy life or care for it somehow.

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Hi,

Yeah, you know, I get it.  I had a very trying time in my early thirties (I’m 44 and deliriously happy today.)  I fell into a pit of despair in my 33rd year that I thought for sure had no bottom and no way out.  The experience culminated in a 4 hour experience one night during which I held the business end of a large caliber handgun in my mouth, trying with all my might to pull the trigger (for 4 hours!!!)… I just couldn’t do it.  I’m so glad that I couldn’t.  You wouldn’t believe all the adventure and joy I would have missed!

After that terrible night, I finally came to terms with the reality that I didn’t actually want to die; I wanted the pain to stop.  That was the beginning of my growing awareness of the meaning of life.  Shortly after I began deliberately moving towards little things to increase my joy, I unexpectedly fell in love, and a whole new chapter of my life spontaneously opened up.  I attribute that turn of events to the simple process of taking baby-steps towards joyful experience again and again.

I got to test the validity of that “moving towards joy” model of living life when the woman I’d fallen in love with (and move 1000 miles to be with) got sick and died from tongue cancer.  I consider my key role as her primary caregiver during her 30 month death experience to be the greatest act of love that it has been my pleasure to participate in.  I devoted my whole being during the 30 months that she was sick to keeping her smiling and laughing as much as I could, and I did that by consistently moving towards anything that increased my joy, and moving from anything that interfered with my joy.  And even though I wasn’t always successful in following that path, my practiced intention to do so kept us both consistently oriented towards joyful experiences, even under those conditions, even as I watched the woman I loved slowly die from cancer.  The inclination to consistently move towards joyful experience and move from what interferes with joy has never let me down since.  I have my dream job today, live in my dream house, and am married to the woman of my dreams.  I didn’t have to work for any of it; it all came to me easily as a direct result of reaching for anything that increases my joy, and reaching for joyful experience again, and reaching for joyful experience again, and reaching for joyful experience again.  What could be easier?

Look into the eyes of a baby.  Play with a puppy… even go to the pet store and play with a puppy for 5 minutes.  Go eat a piece of summer fruit off of a tree.  Stick your feet in a stream.  Sit on a corner with a cool cappuccino and watch people bustling about.  Breathe the Pacific Northwest air.  What will it take to bring you 10 seconds of joy, then 2 minutes of joy, then half an hour of joy, then 2 days of joy, and 2 months, and 2 years, and then a lifetime?

Peace to you, my friend.  Your joyful life experience matters very much to me.  We’re all in this together.

XO,
Katie