Happy Forgiveness Day!

Oh, I love Forgiveness Day.  Forgiveness is one of my favorite things to contemplate.

And Forgiveness Day is a day to actively, consciously invoke the experience of forgiveness towards everyone in general, for nothing in particular!

Several of the Ishaya monks I’ve known have shared with me over the years a concept that can be described as “The Path of Return”.  In a nut shell, when God created this Universe and gifted it to humanity (so that we might pick up where He left off and create within God’s Creation) God stashed within every particle of this Universe a set of tools that humanity could utilize at any time to find our way back to our Source.  This idea is similar to the way that our DNA has built into it the blueprint that allows a single dividing cell to develop into the trillions of cells that make up the human body.  These tools that are hidden in the particles of Creation, when activated, automatically begin the process of drawing us back home to God, to our Source; we don’t need to know how they work or why they work, we need only trust that God put them there for a single purpose and that they do work.  Following this Path of Return is synonymous with Enlightenment.

So how does one go about activating the Path of Return?  That’s the easiest, most elegant part.  By aligning our thoughts, actions and energy with the upward emotions of Forgiveness, Gratitude, Love, Joy, and Praise.  Yeah, it’s that simple.  Choose to live a life of Praise, Gratitude and Love and you’ve activated the Path of Return and have begun your journey home to God.  And one of the essential keys that allows us to align our energies with Love, Gratitude and Praise is FORGIVENESS!

I hear a lot of people ask the question, “How do I forgive?  I don’t know how.”  A lot of religions encourage forgiveness, but very few actually explain “… and this is how you do it…” 

This is what has worked for me.  I’ve used this technique to affectively, quickly get me through some of the darkest times of my life.  When I feel really low about something or someone, I simply focus on forgiving everyone who comes to mind one at a time until I feel better.  It’s kind of like this: “I forgive my mom.  I forgive my father.  I forgive the guy who cut me off this morning.  I forgive my ex-girlfriend.  I forgive my fourth grade teacher.  I forgive the cop who pulled me over.  I forgive my boss.  I forgive my wife.  I forgive myself….”  I try to not give any thought to what I’m forgiving people for, I simply forgive them.  The book, “A Course in Miracles”, says that when we forgive someone for something in particular that we believe they’ve done, then we’ve hidden a judgment about that person and their act in our attempt to forgive.  In other words, invoking the healing energy of forgiveness while at the same time adding a little judgment into it only serves to dilute the sweet energy of forgiveness.  Pass no judgment, only forgive.  When I’ve done this exercise during dark times in my life, it never fails to make me feel better.  And when I’m done, even if the darkness starts creeping back into my heart again 5 minutes later, then I start over again: “I forgive my mom.  I forgive my dad.  I forgive my wife.  I forgive my boss….”  See, next time maybe the darkness won’t start to creep back in for 6 minutes.  Then I do it again.  And maybe next time the darkness won’t come back for 10 minutes.  And after I do it again, maybe it’ll take an hour for the darkness to creep back in.  Eventually, the darkness will have passed for good, and much quicker than if I’d just let the darkness have its way with me. 

This part is very, very important; I can’t stress it enough.  When doing this forgiveness exercise (which really works by the way), IT IS ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY IMPERITIVE THAT YOU ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS INCLUDE YOURSELF, YES FORGIVE YOURSELF EACH AND EVERY TIME YOU USE THIS EXERCISE!!!

I have to repeat that: ALWAYS REMEMBER TO FORGIVE YOURSELF WHEN UTILIZING THIS FORGIVENESS EXERCISE!!!!

Trust me, this exercise works.  It can heal your heart.  It can heal broken relationships.  It can, over time, create a stable pattern of forgiveness in even the hardest heart.  Most importantly, increasing the level of forgiveness within one’s heart also serves the purpose of unlocking the Path of Return, of putting our feet firmly on the path to enlightenment.

And so, hopefully, you see how forgiveness has nothing at all to do with excusing bad behavior in others.  Forgiveness is not at all about condoning bad behavior.  We forgive others for our own sake.  Because I love myself, because I want the sweetest, most joyful life experience humanly possible, I forgive everyone for everything.  When we hold a grudge, we hurt no one but ourselves.  If I’m angry at my ex-girlfriend for something she did, she’s not the one who’s suffering with the resentment… I am!  If I choose to hold a resentment against anyone, I’m allowing what they did to diminish my joyful life experience.  The choice is mine.  I have all the power!

“A Course in Miracles” is clear on this point.  There are only 2 emotions: Love and fear.  And fear is nothing more than the absence of Love.  As darkness is the absence of light, easily dispelled when a light is turned on, so fear is the absence of Love, easily dispelled when Love is activated.  According to “A Course in Miracles”, the ultimately goal of forgiveness is the “undoing of fear.”  Whatever it is that has been done that we believe has hurt us in some way, through forgiveness we have the power to undo those acts as if they were never done.  This is the Path of Return.  This is Unconditional Love.  This is learning to see each other as God sees us.  This is finally accessing our purest Divine Nature.  And when we do that, we are home.

Join me today, National Forgiveness Day, in forgiving everyone in general for nothing in particular.  What do you have to lose?

I love you all!

XO,
K